The Monster In Your Wardrobe

When you were young, did you used to have a monster that lived under your bed?

I did. I used to take a running leap from the threshold of my bedroom into the bed. At which point my mother would point out that beds were not trampolines and that I should have more respect for the mattress springs. I  never told her about the monster – I didn’t think she would understand.

How do you know when there's a monster under your bed? Because your head's touching the ceiling!
Q:How do you know when there’s a monster under your bed? A: Because your head’s touching the ceiling!

As we get older our monsters become more sophisticated. We’ve all heard about the (ahem) more mature lady who, every night, looks under the bed in case there’s a man hiding there. And every night she’s disappointed…

My nine year old daughter doesn’t have a monster under her bed but she does have a one that lives in her wardrobe. Sometimes she asks us to check that it’s not there, so we rootle through all the Monster Munch packets on the floor, the copies of “Monster Weekly” and that strange chair covered in green hair, but there’s never any sign of it…

Sometimes we adults still have a monster in our wardrobes. Not one covered in green fur with big scary eyes and sharp teeth, but an invisible one with tentacles of doubt and insecurity. Every time we open our closets and sigh that monster chortles. It feeds on all the negative emotions generated when we don’t feel comfortable and confident in our clothes.

And we are responsible for it being there in the first place! That monster lives in all the clothes that don’t fit us, don’t suit us, are not appropriate for our lifestyle. In short, every time we place an item in our wardrobe that is not right for us, we create its perfect habitat.

I tell you all on the Colour Class that I am providing you with a sword (or maybe a light sabre), a weapon to fight the monster. After you have done your Colour Class you can start to remove some of the clothes that provide his lair. After you have done your Personal Style Day you will take away yet more. What’s more, you will be replacing them with clothes are are anathema to him. Monsters cannot live in clothes that are loved and delighted in: monsters feed on guilt but cannot tolerate joy.

This is my monster. What does yours look like?
This is my monster. What does yours look like?

Last week I asked you to conduct an wardrobe review based on emotion. If you did that you will know whether you have a monster friendly habitat in there, or if you’re pretty safe. Next week I’ll be giving you some advice on how to ensure that your wardrobe stays monster-free forever. It does take discipline, these monsters are pretty sneaky, but it can be done if you follow a few simple rules.

So here’s to that sneaky ol’ monster packing his bags and leaving your closet forever!


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